I first saw this poem on the newsgroup rec.crafts.textiles.machine-knit in Feb. 2000. The person who posted it said she got it from a friend who found it in an old knitting magazine. The person posting it was from England, and most of the old knitting magazines come from England, so keep this in mind when reading it. That might also explain what M & S is [I'm guessing a local department store].

Knitter's Poetic Justice

Well, what a lovely sweater. I'd really like one too.
What a pity it's that shade of green; I'd rather have pale blue.

That round neck sits quite nicely, but would you make mine square?
And that motif, though striking, would look better over there!

I like my jumpers really loose; that one is rather tight.
Oh! and by the way, my left arm is longer than my right.

Oh! you've made it in acrylic. I always like the best.
Nothing but pure wool, my dear. I've put it to the test.

And I need it by next Friday when I'm flying off to Rome.
I know you will not charge much as you're knitting it at home.

What! You'll charge me for your time? As well as for the yarn?
You finish it by hand, and there's all those ends to darn?

Well! I think that's quite outrageous- and I thought that we were friends.
I know that it's your income but your price me quite offends.

One would think you'd make exceptions and charge a little less.
You really needn't bother; I'll go to M & S!
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A few things to remember when ordering from a crafter

1. Crafters have been around for ages. They were responsible for clothing, furniture, and building homes, as well as for jewelry and other items to make their lives and homes beautiful, and still are responsible for doing that, in most cases. Please treat your crafter with respect. I know a lot of people who call themselves artists who are also crafters, me included. However, I do not turn my nose up at the word 'crafter', nor do I treat crafters with scorn and pity, for not being able to make the transition to 'artist'. I am not a snob. I freely admit to being a crafter, and am proud of it.
2. Do not insult the crafter. Too many times, people browse a craft booth, then say 'I can make that at home'. Fine. Go do it. You do not need to inform the crafter that you can. What you are  basically doing is slapping the crafter in the face with that comment. Just smile, and walk away if you feel you can make it yourself. Then go back and order from the crafter the following year, because you found that you don't have the time to make it, or what you made isnt as high in quality as what you saw in that booth. If you did tell the crafter you can make the same thing she/he has for sale, then be sure to apologize for that comment when you go back to buy it, because you will then be educated as to how much work that crafter put into making that item, since you tried to make it and found that you cant.
3. When ordering an item from your crafter, do not expect it to be done in 2 days. You MUST give the crafter several weeks to get it done. Even if the crafter is fast at what she/he does, that does not mean they are not working on anything else. They probably have a long list of things to make already, and by waiting till the last minute to order something, the crafter has to set aside everyone else who is ahead of you. If you do this, STOP IT. It's arrogance at it's worse, thinking the crafter is just sitting around waiting for your order. If a crafter has items in a booth, that means the crafter has been working all year, sometimes for 2 years, to have enough stock to display and sell for just 3 days.
4. If you know a crafter, do not assume that the crafter can drop what they are doing at any time to help you with something at your house. Crafters work hard, and work very long hours to make what they make. Just because they are working from their home does not mean they aren't doing anything. I've seen this same thing happen with stay-at-home moms. People who work assume the stay-at-home mom doesn't do anything all day long, and think nothing of calling that mom to ask for help in any number of areas, like watching their pets instead of hiring a pet sitter or taking them to a doggie day care in the morning [of course, the mom doesn't get paid], watching their kids instead of hiring a baby-sitter [if the mom gets paid, it's not much], picking up things at the grocery store or cleaners so you don't have to do it [they might reimburse the mom for the item, but not for the gas or the mom's time spent running errands for someone else]. People just assume that if you don't leave your house for what they consider is a REAL job, that means you are there to serve them, and that your time is free. If you do this to a crafter or a stay at home mom, STOP IT.
5. When ordering something from a crafter, please pay the crafter when the item is delivered. Do not expect a bill. By expecting a bill at some later date, you will always be surprised by how much has built up that you have not paid for. When I hear 'Bill me', or 'Catch me later' when it comes to payment, I know that means 'Hey, thanks for all the free stuff! Good luck trying to get paid for it.' And please don't try to get the price lowered. That's just rude, and the crafter will not want to make anything more for you. Ever. Don't be surprised if the crafter says to you that they will take back the items they made, and you can collect them when you have the money for them. By not paying your crafter the full amount, or not paying your crafter on time, you could possibly be taking food out of the mouths of their kids. And supplies are expensive. If you don't believe that, check any craft store for the prices on yarn, beads, or clay. The price of the crafted item for sale will not only reflect the supplies used, but the time, experience, and talent of the person who made it.
6. Do not think that what the crafter makes is easy to do. In most cases, it's not. The crafter may make it look easy, but they know it takes a lot of skill and talent to make what they make, and to make it look good.
7. Crafters do not work for free. You don't, so don't expect the crafter to, just because it's hand made. Just because you can find the same item in any store, does not mean that the quality is as good as what the crafter makes. Stores buy in bulk, and the clothing they have on sale has been made on automated machines, usually in a large warehouse. You are free to buy the same thing at any store you want, but don't expect the quality that you saw at the craft booth. And don't complain to the crafter about how you bought the exact same item in a store and it only lasted for 3 months before falling apart. The crafter is not responsible for that, and isn't interested in how your store bought item was poorly made.
8. Crafters' homes are typically messy, with craft supplies and/or projects in full view. Not everyone can afford a studio or extra room in the house to do what they do. If you visit a crafter's home, be respectful. It does no good to tell the crafter that they should really straighten up the place, cuz maybe they will think better. That might work for you, but crafters have been known to focus on what they are making and ignore everything else around them. Especially because people put impossible deadlines on them, or they had their work stolen by someone who doesn't think it's worth the money the crafter priced it at, so the crafter has to work harder to make up for the money that they didn't get paid.
 

This page was built 11 August 2000